Why Should I Cry For You?

Things have gotten better and worse. Worse because its getting tougher to deal with the boy situation. I don't think I like who I thought I liked; I might like someone who I didn't think I would like; and I'm still struggling to deal with something that shouldn't matter. Last night things just kind of collapsed and it got tougher.

But I've been feeling better too. I've just become more okay with everything. Its like, when you put things into perspective, its just so much easier to be happy. There is a plan for me, and if it includes this right now, then so be it. I guess a big part of life is just waiting for something that is right, and try to be happy while you're doing it. I just sometimes feel like I'll never find the right thing. But we had a fireside today and I talked to Sarah a little earlier about how I feel about the truth of the church and the gospel. And I realize that as long as I have the gospel, I'm going to be just fine.

On a different note, I turned seventeen yesterday. The day wasn't bad or anything, I had fun for the most part, but it just made me want to freeze my age. I'm not ready to have to start growing up yet, and I just feel like I missed something important along the way. But maybe everyone feels like that. I know I'm excited about time moving on and things changing, but it still scares me, because what if things don't change? Or if they do, what happens if they change for the worse? I guess you can't think like that though.

I'm happy, but I'm sad too you know. I just feel like there is a big part of me that is missing, and the reason why is so stupid. I just don't understand things I guess. But there is something that I'm starting to figure out; I never understood how thin the line was between love and hate, and I think I'm realizing it now.

Anyways, todays quote is from Lifeline- Angels & Airwaves, and the picture is by DzSuperBoy.

"With an urgent, careful stare, I see panic in those eyes. If I see you lying there, hoping this was the last time; If you hear a distant sound, and some footsteps by your side. When the world comes crashing down, I will find you if you hide. We all make mistakes, here's your lifeline; if you want it I want to."